Thank you for your transparency. I am a trauma therapist; I went into solo private practice in 2020 because I could not stomach “gender affirming care”. I would have been forced into it had I stayed in community mental health. Your insights are very helpful as I work towards becoming a professional who supports gender critical theories and as I open my door to the detrans population. I wish you health and healing. ❤️🩹
My adult daughter went all in for medicalization, and ingested every word of the what the ideology says about parents who do not affirm. She too adopted baseless paranoia and false beliefs like you said: "I was a true believer in every single word that these online trans communities uttered and I became convinced that my parents hated me and were actively trying to harm me, which could not have been further from the truth. I thought surely that they would have rather I committed suicide than to have their daughter become a “trans son.”"
Thank you for writing about the ideology from the perspective of a kid who got out. I appreciate it.
Thank you for sharing your story. Your writing is clear and easy to understand. I am a parent of two daughters who are currently trans and nonbinary young adults. It’s frustrating to see the conundrum of if you try to argue your kids out of this it doesn’t work but also if you affirm them it isn’t right or helpful to them. It’s very discouraging to me to feel there is nothing that will help but I can only sit by and pray as my trans daughter ruins her health with T.
So hard as a non affirming parent to know the correct thing to do. Every text. Every conversation. Every interaction is scrutinized and replayed again and again to see if I did/said the right thing. The thing that won’t get us kicked out of his life. Someday hopefully we’ll get our son back. The estrogen damage I’m afraid is already too deep but a relationship would be nice.
A thought I had that really clarifies all this for me: when we look across time and space, we always see gender roles. There is always male and female. Sometimes there are other options; but in every society there is always female, male, and queerness: variation off those roles.
Queerness requiring hormones and surgery is very new; and very western.
It’s hard to think of anything that even came close. Eunuchs, perhaps.
So it’s certainly not endemic to the human condition. Queerness is, but not this specific manifestation of it. There weren’t prehistoric [male] Māori who wanted to grow breasts or [die], as far as I can tell. There were certainly queer Māori, but this [medical thing] is very new.
Queerness does not require medical intervention. And creating a societal idea that it does seems collectively maladaptive - especially before those technologies are really perfected.
Thank you for writing this--in its brutal honesty you gave me a little bit of much needed balm for my spirit....My daughter underwent surgery the day before Mothers Day in '23. It destroyed what my hopes and dreams were for my child-but allowed room for growth in new ones. One day, if a miracle happens and this insanity subsides, she can reclaim her gender and hopefully live a life of balance and happiness. The extremes of absolute adherence and support for gender identity is what clued me in to the cult like status my daughter was clinging to.
Prayers for all of us parents out there who were forced to speak truth, forced to choose love and truth over lies, and by doing so stood against the world at large to protect the child we knew we had created, birthed, raised and loved no matter their choices. Prayers all of us live to see them come home.
Thank you for writing with such honesty. I am always grateful to read what you have to say, and I am so glad you have found your way home. You're really a beautiful writer and amazing young woman. I hope reconciliation can happen with our beautiful daughter, someday.
Hey, just wanted to send my love and appreciation for what you've been through and that you're sharing. The people caught up in the madness will revile you. But most of them will realize that your path and theirs are the same in time.
Thank you for this comment. I hope that everyone who embarks upon this path can reconcile with themselves by the end of it, and regardless of whether or how far they medicalize- can return to reality
Painful & honest writing Maia, so glad you eventually saw your way out. You were recently on Capitol Hill for Detrans Awareness Day. Do you have any names of government officials it would be worth writing to? I am a parent & want to share the family breakdown side as well as physical damage…but I’m not sure who to target. I just know I want to do something to help make it stop!!
Or am I wasting my time…if all the influences are online?? 🤯
Thank you for sharing and I am following all your posts. Would like to know more ( if it’s safe to do so) about which specific trans activists online have in your opinion the most influence. Is it individuals like Jamie Dodger or organisations such as mermaids that kids go to the most ? Do they all coach kids on what to say to parents and therapists?
Thank you for your transparency. I am a trauma therapist; I went into solo private practice in 2020 because I could not stomach “gender affirming care”. I would have been forced into it had I stayed in community mental health. Your insights are very helpful as I work towards becoming a professional who supports gender critical theories and as I open my door to the detrans population. I wish you health and healing. ❤️🩹
My adult daughter went all in for medicalization, and ingested every word of the what the ideology says about parents who do not affirm. She too adopted baseless paranoia and false beliefs like you said: "I was a true believer in every single word that these online trans communities uttered and I became convinced that my parents hated me and were actively trying to harm me, which could not have been further from the truth. I thought surely that they would have rather I committed suicide than to have their daughter become a “trans son.”"
Thank you for writing about the ideology from the perspective of a kid who got out. I appreciate it.
You are a constant inspiration. But this one I felt deep in my soul. A deep thank you from all of us grieving parents, dear one.
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing your story. Your writing is clear and easy to understand. I am a parent of two daughters who are currently trans and nonbinary young adults. It’s frustrating to see the conundrum of if you try to argue your kids out of this it doesn’t work but also if you affirm them it isn’t right or helpful to them. It’s very discouraging to me to feel there is nothing that will help but I can only sit by and pray as my trans daughter ruins her health with T.
I am sorry about this situation. I will address this in my next piece which should be published either today or tomorrow.
You are amazing. Courageous, honest and wise. A beacon of hope in the trans ideological insanity.
I appreciate that ❤️❤️❤️
So hard as a non affirming parent to know the correct thing to do. Every text. Every conversation. Every interaction is scrutinized and replayed again and again to see if I did/said the right thing. The thing that won’t get us kicked out of his life. Someday hopefully we’ll get our son back. The estrogen damage I’m afraid is already too deep but a relationship would be nice.
I hope someday he will come around and reconcile with himself and with you
[reread my comments and edited for clarity 3/31]
A thought I had that really clarifies all this for me: when we look across time and space, we always see gender roles. There is always male and female. Sometimes there are other options; but in every society there is always female, male, and queerness: variation off those roles.
Queerness requiring hormones and surgery is very new; and very western.
It’s hard to think of anything that even came close. Eunuchs, perhaps.
So it’s certainly not endemic to the human condition. Queerness is, but not this specific manifestation of it. There weren’t prehistoric [male] Māori who wanted to grow breasts or [die], as far as I can tell. There were certainly queer Māori, but this [medical thing] is very new.
Queerness does not require medical intervention. And creating a societal idea that it does seems collectively maladaptive - especially before those technologies are really perfected.
Very interesting take
Really good article. I see so many similarities between you and my daughter (now 16 and desisting). I'm so grateful for all your work. Thank you.
I’m so glad you enjoy my work
It consistently blows my mind how much I relate to your story. I am so glad you made it out. ❤️
Thank you for reading!
Thank you for writing this--in its brutal honesty you gave me a little bit of much needed balm for my spirit....My daughter underwent surgery the day before Mothers Day in '23. It destroyed what my hopes and dreams were for my child-but allowed room for growth in new ones. One day, if a miracle happens and this insanity subsides, she can reclaim her gender and hopefully live a life of balance and happiness. The extremes of absolute adherence and support for gender identity is what clued me in to the cult like status my daughter was clinging to.
Prayers for all of us parents out there who were forced to speak truth, forced to choose love and truth over lies, and by doing so stood against the world at large to protect the child we knew we had created, birthed, raised and loved no matter their choices. Prayers all of us live to see them come home.
Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for writing with such honesty. I am always grateful to read what you have to say, and I am so glad you have found your way home. You're really a beautiful writer and amazing young woman. I hope reconciliation can happen with our beautiful daughter, someday.
Thank you ❤️. I wish all the best for you and your family
Welcome back to the world Maia! Another amazing detransitioner. You rock!
I appreciate that. Thank you!
Hey, just wanted to send my love and appreciation for what you've been through and that you're sharing. The people caught up in the madness will revile you. But most of them will realize that your path and theirs are the same in time.
Thank you for this comment. I hope that everyone who embarks upon this path can reconcile with themselves by the end of it, and regardless of whether or how far they medicalize- can return to reality
I sent you a PM regarding my loved one's situation. It's all just so, so sad. I wish I could share publically but bridges burn so easily.
I responded to your PM
Painful & honest writing Maia, so glad you eventually saw your way out. You were recently on Capitol Hill for Detrans Awareness Day. Do you have any names of government officials it would be worth writing to? I am a parent & want to share the family breakdown side as well as physical damage…but I’m not sure who to target. I just know I want to do something to help make it stop!!
Or am I wasting my time…if all the influences are online?? 🤯
The influencers are online. It doesn’t even matter if they stop indoctrinating kids in school. I got into it way before then- because of the internet
Thanks. Perhaps the medical profession then & take away the phones, impossible!
Thank you for sharing and I am following all your posts. Would like to know more ( if it’s safe to do so) about which specific trans activists online have in your opinion the most influence. Is it individuals like Jamie Dodger or organisations such as mermaids that kids go to the most ? Do they all coach kids on what to say to parents and therapists?
Each generation has its own. It doesn’t even matter who they are specifically because they all say the same things