33 Comments
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Evelyn Ball's avatar

Incredibly in-depth and highly valuable. I wish for pre-teens to learn about you and your story.

As a therapist and theatre teacher, my mind goes to kids’ self conception and how the theatre can help reach them: I picture a “one woman show,” your autobiographical presentation on a stage, with invited 5th grade and middle school classes.

I wish I could share your story with 10-12 year- olds, before they fixate on GD and interventions such as breast binding as the way to manage their sensory discomfort and dissociation.

Teachers need to learn your story too, so they can understand body discomfort and lack of sensory attunement through a wider lens.

I greatly appreciate your courage and dedication, and your willingness to disclose your deep and personal feelings, inquiry, and journey. 🙏🏽

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Maia Poet's avatar

I’m so glad you found it helpful!

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Scherer's avatar

Thank you for sharing this. I experienced so many "oh, I see moments" while reading this. No one has ever explained what is actually happening inside the head of a young autistic person the way you have. ( I have read many autobiographies of autistic people). Add to that the feeling of being born in the wrong body - no one has ever explained that so well and in such a relatable way. As you say, no parent can ever see what is happening in the head of their children but your posts can give us some inkling as to what

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Maia Poet's avatar

What about my description was relatable to you as the reader?

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Scherer's avatar

I related to the hyper focus on my interests, my sensory issues and the internal chaos were instantly recognisable. The sense of "Otherness" and actually being told that I should have been a boy caused me a lot of stress when I entered puberty. Luckily for me there was no Dr Google to do any further damage.

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Sam H Arnold's avatar

Thank you so much for sharing your journey, I have an autistic daughter and I would be wrong if I said I was not concerned about the number of young people that believe they are trans who also identify as autistic. This, like many of your articles really gave me something to think about.

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Maia Poet's avatar

❤️❤️❤️

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Juliette's avatar

Thank you, I learned quite a bit despite knowing much about transition and a little about autism. I wanted to add : depression can lead to craving the same sort of soothing elements as autism - stimming (like a back and forth movement of the body), dark and quiet places to avoid sensory overload and strong compression in particular. Except, depression can be healed or alleviated unlike autism.

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Anon232's avatar

Omg Maia! Absolutely brilliant!!

I want to scream this from the mountaintop! Ffs..

Why are these absolute GEMS missing from psych counselor trainings and why are the most highly logical, problem solving possibilities and theories being missed so evidently? Especially disturbing that there has been no discussion of this amongst the gender therapists or psych counselors? You, I hope, are wrapping up your honorary PHD! They NEED your amazing perceptions.

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Maia Poet's avatar

How do I get my work to them?

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Anon232's avatar

Not being an expert, and judging from so many trying to push this further, I can't imagine it would be a fast process so just thinking out loud. Create a podcast/ youtube and live tiktoks and invite the ones closest to the issue who may be willing to listen. My take is that tik tok lives get very good traction. Workshops? Continue to show up and do you. Write to Megan Kelly..blegh.. essentially any big platform. Discuss the Dr's you workshop with to find an inroad to share info at seminars, etc. Wish I had more..

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Charlotte's avatar

I hope you are gaining a broad readership - not only with folk who are already aware of the links and hazards you discuss in your articles, but also with young people like you, young people who are as confused and determined as you were. I hope they read your pieces because your words may change the course of their lives.

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Maia Poet's avatar

I really appreciate that. I hope to continue to grow and for my words to reach as many people as possible.

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Ullr's avatar

One of the best connections I’ve read between sensory overload, pain science, focus, placebo effect. Thank you.

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Maia Poet's avatar

I’d say it’s more than a simple placebo effect.

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Ullr's avatar

My apologies for making too light of a deadly serious situation. I do know many young people who used binders and continued on that path. And some who seem to be desisting but find certain athletic activities to be too painful on the ribs.

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Maia Poet's avatar

I don’t think you were making light of it. My point is that there is something akin to a placebo effect going on here, but it’s more complicated than that

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Ullr's avatar

Thank you. Appreciate your clarification. As someone who became fascinated by historical garments during the pandemic, there’s a lot of essays by women (and men) about the comforting hug that corset type garments (properly fitted) give. Historically in the medieval to 1920’s at least most people of all classes wore a supportive garment, or just more fitted clothing. Think of thick denim vests for workers. Is there something to it maybe, that we have such loose fitting clothing now and have worse body image and posture. We expect our bodies to give the clothes structure, rather than the clothes give the body structure with blousy under shirts, and hip pads instead of surgery.

Sorry to go off into a tangent!

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Concerned mom's avatar

Boy, I hope my daughter’s therapist explores these issues with her. She certainly won’t discuss them with me.

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Maia Poet's avatar

I hope so too

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Evelyn Ball's avatar

I’d love to talk to you a few minutes about this and an idea I’m working on but don’t know how to send a private message (pretty new to Substack).

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Maia Poet's avatar

You should just be able to message me

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Gary Weglarz's avatar

Very interesting - thank you so much for the insights.

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Maia Poet's avatar

Thank you for reading!

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dialectical lesbian's avatar

Thank you Maia! I appreciate your writing and i wish for your success and happiness. I have a question — does a garment exist that might offer the benefits of compression for autistic girls and women you explained here without causing the issues binders do?

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Maia Poet's avatar

Yes, there are compression shirts and undershirts and weighted blankets and vests

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dialectical lesbian's avatar

Thanks!!

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V Saunders's avatar

Thank you for explaining the sensory relief so well. I wonder if there is a safe alternative to a breast binder that I could maybe present to my daughter before the damage is truly set in.

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Maia Poet's avatar

DM me

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Nancy mansour's avatar

Thank you for writing this!

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Eduardo Cabrera's avatar

Very well written, Maia.

Let's see if you agree with these statements?

From what I understand, then, you belong to one of two large groups that experience confusion, incongruence, or dysphoria regarding their gender.

On the one hand, there is the group that experiences this state from early childhood, and on the other, the group that experiences it approximately from puberty.

As far as I know, of the childhood cohort, around 15 percent will be trans their entire lives, regardless of whether or not they receive any type of treatment. But if they receive affirming treatment, the percentage will increase significantly, perhaps to between 50 and 95 percent.

In the preadolescent-onset cohort, I believe there are no truly trans people, or the few that do exist would actually be members of the childhood-onset cohort. If they undergo affirming therapy, up to 50 to 95 percent of them will continue to identify as trans for the rest of their lives.

I'm very interested in hearing your opinion on my speculations.

Best regards.

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Maia Poet's avatar

Affirmation changes the life trajectory of a young person. This we both agree on. I disagree that there are any "truly trans" people because I disagree with the notion that anyone is born in the wrong body.

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Eduardo Cabrera's avatar

"I don't agree that there are 'truly trans' people because I don't agree with the idea that someone is born in the wrong body."

Maia, "being born in the wrong body" is a metaphor to highlight the incongruence between a person's sex and their "gender identity." An expression that comes to mean the internal feeling a person has about themselves in relation to sex; that is, basically, I feel like a woman or I feel like a man.

Even though the expression "gender identity" may be considered imprecise, the idea that we all have an internal feeling about what sex we belong to is plausible. It's as plausible as knowing what our sexual orientation is.

And just as there are people whose sexual orientation is oriented toward people of their own sex, it's understandable that there are people whose internal feeling of their sex is atypical.

The point at which these two issues are linked is natural evolution.

Evolution led to the emergence of sexual reproduction approximately two thousand years ago. Then, different species appeared, along with the development of nervous systems. Later, species equipped with brains appeared. And much later, we humans appeared, equipped with brains evolved to maximize our reproductive possibilities. As part of this "baggage," we possess dimorphic psychologies, and within this dimorphism, we have a "cross-sex" sexual orientation; that is, women are typically sexually oriented toward men and men toward women.

However, homosexuals exist. How can this happen?

There are several theories, and perhaps more than one explanation is valid, but I believe the strongest is the following: The parts of the brain where sexual orientation is "wired" are shaped through hormonal pathways. The same is true of the genital system. The key is that both configurations occur at different times during pregnancy. Therein lies the possibility, then, that after the genitals are formed, later, for various reasons—such as the absence of certain hormone receptors—the brain is wired in an atypical way.

It is entirely plausible that the same thing may occur at the level of a person's internal sense of self in relation to sex.

It would be no coincidence that most people who present "gender nonconformity" in early childhood, if not therapeutically "affirmed," continue their lives later as homosexuals.

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